Tiny Tyrant

   Our two youngest granddaughters, ages 2 and 8, came to spend last week with us. It gave my daughter a much needed break and we had a blast but we were exhausted by the time we took them back to Oklahoma on Monday. Bella, the 8 year old, was great and although she is known for her "Bella meltdowns", she didn't have a single one while she was here. However,  Kaya, the 2 year old, was a tiny tyrant.
   Kaya had learned over the holidays that if she climbed on a bar stool and sat at the counter and yelled "cucack" enough times that someone would give her a cupcake. She continued this tradition this past week. You don't want to say "no" to her when she has her mind set on something. It took 40 minutes and 3 of us to get her dressed in the mornings. I have never seen legs and arms slip so fast in and out of clothes before.
   But we loved every minute because we love those two little girls to the moon and back. I thought about how much Jesus loves me. It doesn't matter how much of a tyrant I am; it doesn't matter how difficult I am; or how set I am on getting my way. Jesus loves me to all eternity and back. I pray that He will help me to get over my tyranny of selfish ways and to follow Him.
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it, But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it", Matthew 16:24-25.

One Step Ahead

   We have a new puppy at our place, a six month old Border Collie that we named Grace. I figured she was going to need a lot of grace, and we were, too, to raise her. I gave my husband Phillip Keller's book "Lessons From a Sheep Dog" for his birthday. Keller had a Border Collie as his beloved companion and sheep herder. You know what comes next, right? My husband had to have one, too.
   We've found out since Grace has been at our house that we need to keep one step ahead of her. These dogs are highly intelligent and full of energy. As I've thought about Grace, I have seen how I need to keep one step ahead of Satan. If I give Satan an inch, he'll take a mile. If I give him a thought, it will stay in my mind a whole day. If I give him one bad experience, he'll push me into depression for days.
   I can keep one step ahead of Satan if I refuse to think negative thoughts and by reading my Bible and claiming Jesus' promises daily. I can keep one step ahead of Satan by recognizing that I am a child of God and by resolving to not let  bad experiences trigger old thoughts of inadequacy and lack.
   I am not that abused, damaged little girl anymore. I am a mature woman that has been in love with Jesus for a lot of years. If I surrender all my cares to Him daily and ask Him to walk with me every second and every step of the day, then He will enable me to keep one step ahead of Satan. 
"So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you", James 4:7.
"...because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world", I John 4:4b.

No Pecking Order

   It's weaning time on our little sheep farm. When the lambs get eight weeks old we separate them from their mothers. After we weigh and vaccinate them, we put the females in one pen and the males in another. They do not like this, of course. They cry for a couple of days and nights until they discover that they are safe and that grass and grain can fill up their bellies just fine. My tender heart hates that we have to do this but I know it's the way of life.
   Right now we have four females and four males that have been weaned. It's been interesting to watch them establish their "pecking order". It changes with each new lamb. It's not necessarily the oldest that gets to be leader but often the biggest and always the most confident. Given time, they learn to work it our among themselves. I see this happen with the birds at the feeders outside my window, with our dogs, and also when our grandchildren come to visit. I guess all of creation follows a "pecking order" where the fittest get the best and the rest just hang on.
   I'm not good with the "pecking order" thing. I've never had the confidence to rise to the top. Most of the time I'm just grabbing hold and hanging on for dear life. I'm glad that there's no "pecking
 order" where Jesus is concerned. He loves us all equally. While the world tells us that we need to be more, Jesus tells us that we are enough just like we are. That's why I want Him for my Good Shepherd.
"He tends His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart, He gently leads those that have young", Isaiah 40:11.
  

The Covering

   The sheep we have are katahdins. They are a hair sheep. They don't have wool. Instead, they have a wool-like covering they shed in the spring. They look a little scraggly this time of year as they are shedding. They can often be seen rubbing up against the fence for a little help in getting this covering off. 
   I wasn't born with a covering but I took one on after the childhood abuse. It was a covering of guilt and shame and self-loathing. After I became a Christian, I began to shed it but it hung on tenaciously.
It clung to me for years, like a bad odor, refusing to move on. It affected my thoughts and actions and image of myself for a long time.
   I'm free of it now. I quit listening to Satan's lies about myself and began to believe God's Word. God's Word says that I am covered with a robe of righteousness.
"I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For He has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness", Isaiah 61:10.

Solid Food

   This week it was time to wean our first three lambs, the triplets. They are eight weeks old and over 40 pounds, so it was time. They don't like it at all, nor does their mother. They are letting us know by their constant pacing and their pitiful "baaaaaaaas".  My mother's heart wants to rescue them from their misery, but I know it's the way of life and they need to grow up.
   It's like what Jesus has done to me at times in my life. He has led me away from people and places that felt like a perfect fit and placed me where I feel uncomfortable. I feel too crowded or maybe too loose. I feel abandoned by Him. But I know that He is working behind the scenes to give me everything I need to grow up and eat the solid food of His Word.
"You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn't know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong", Hebrews 6:13-14. NLT

My Mother

   This post is in honor of my mother, Rosemary Irene, who passed away August 18, 2010, Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and miss her terribly. She was lovely; a poet, a lover of Jesus, a supporter of anything and everything my family was involved in. She died of a massive stroke after five years of serving as caretaker for my dad who had Altzheimer's. My dad passed away four weeks after mother did. They had been married 66 years. I've written here before how their amazing love story was the legacy they left our family. One of my greatest regrets was not insisting that mother let me get her help caring for dad. In her honor I'm going to post a poem she wrote about their favorite place to visit, the beach:

End of the Day by Rosemary Irene Smith

As we sat on the seawall
At the end of the day
We watched a tireless fisherman
And some children at play.

Most of the crowds were gone
After a day at the beach
The fishing boats were coming back in
And the sky was the color of peach.

Oh' it was a beautiful sight
To watch the waves rolling high
And see the flying fishes
Jump against the sky.

The fresh salt spray
As it blew in our face
Made us forget our cares
And our fast hurried pace.

The bright hot sun
Had already sat in the west
And now we were ready
For our much needed rest.

To our right and to our left
As far as we can see.
Is sand, water and sky
A most peaceful sight to me.

Gentle Savior

   I've written before about our guard dog, Delilah. She is a Pyrenean Mastiff, descended from an ancient livestock dog breed found in the Pyrenees Mountains in Spain. She is massive, muscular, and strong. She will weigh over 150 pounds when she is grown. She has big, sharp teeth. She could fight a bear, if she needed to protect the sheep, and come out the victor.
   But what has impressed me even more about Delilah is her absolute gentleness. When one of the lambs wanders away from its' mother, she will glide behind it ever so softly and give it the most tender nudge with her body. She might have to do it a few times until the lamb sees its' mom and runs towards her. She is never aggressive with the lambs, never growls, never pushes hard. She is amazingly gentle.
   This is a picture of how Jesus is with us. He does not force us to believe in Him but He gently tugs at our hearts until we are overwhelmed with His love. Even though He is all- powerful and could call down legions of angels to help, He never forces us to follow His ways. He waits patiently beside us until we understand that His way alone is the way of rest and peace for our souls. He is a gentle Savior.
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light," Matthew 11:28-29.