Artist of My Soul

     I'm an artist. Not a very good one, but it has been a big part of my life. When I am focused on where the next brush stroke goes, or how to mix red and blue to get that perfect shade of purple, then I'm not thinking about how afraid I am that my daughter has been called back for an ultrasound of her breast.
    Painting is my escape from the world. Yet when I'm depressed I have a hard time painting. I guess that I'm so closed up that the creative juices can't flow. I've been painting quite a bit lately, which is a good sign of my mental state.
    I received a gift, a "God Thing", when we moved into this house. An accomplished artist who lives down the street stopped by to ask if she could take pictures of my sheep so she could paint them. When she found out that I was an artist, she invited me to a painting group of 7 or 8 ladies who meet at her house every other Thursday to paint. That has become such a blessing to me.
    As I'm writing this, I'm looking out my window at the vibrant leaves of red, orange and gold that are gracing the trees in our area this autumn. I'm amazed at the artistry of God. His colors take my breath away.
    We all have a share of God's creativity because He lives in us. Let's unleash it. For you it may be painting, or writing. Maybe it's decorating a house or an office. Maybe it's the creative way you raise your children; maybe it's dressing them. Maybe it's dressing you.
    Whatever it is, let it out. Be guided by the creativity God gave you. Use it to glorify Him.
"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens," James 1:17. NLT

Patience

    I wrote last time about the two pygmy goats we bought. Going to a new place so traumatized them that they still won't get close to my husband or me. My daughter and two little granddaughters visited last weekend. My daughter is an animal lover extraordinaire. She spent a couple of hours sitting close to them. With upmost patience she sang songs to them and offered them food and they started coming up to her.
    You know, God has been like that with me. With upmost patience He waited for me to come to my senses and draw close to Him. He shouldn't have cared about me, a loose mess who found herself neck deep in sin and anchored to depression. With boundless grace, mercy, love and patience He pulled me out of the dark pit I was in and set me on His solid rock.
 "He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me.  They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me. He led me to a place of safety, He rescued me because He delights in me", Psalm 18:16-19.
   

A Matter of Trust

   We brought two pygmy goats home to our little sheep farm last Thursday. The idea is to keep them in a small pasture on the side of our house that is overgrown with shrub. Goats supposedly like to eat that sort of vegetation.
    So we drive out to a farm to get them and bring them home in a large dog crate. We had pictured opening the crate and watching them calmly walk out and into our lives. But in reality, they jumped out of that crate and lit out like jackrabbits. We had no idea goats could run and jump like that. They ran lickedy-split all over our barnyard with the two guard dogs in pursuit. Even our sweet pet lamb, Rosemary, got into the chase. They ran through a pasture, into the farthest corner, and hid behind a telephone pole.
    It has taken us four days to try to calm them down. They spent their first two days behind that telephone pole. Nothing we tried would cause them to venture out. We finally decided to move them to a pen where they could see the other animals and get used to all of us. So we trapped them in their corner with a piece of fencing and carried them kicking and squealing to their new home.
    We put a doghouse "igloo" in their pen for shelter, laid out water and food, and waited patiently for them to get over their trauma and realize we could be trusted. Every day we pull chairs into their pen and sit and watch them. They are just beginning to come out of their corner to sniff us and the food
and stick their heads in the "igloo". Small steps but progress just the same.
    This has given me a fresh picture of my relationship with God. He has provided for me everything I need. He desires to take good care of me. His ways are always best for me. He has promised to never leave me alone. Yet I'm often afraid to trust Him and cautious to follow His ways. Sometimes He still has to pull me kicking and screaming from something He knows is harmful for me.
    Only when I can see Him as my Good Shepherd, my Great Physician, and the Refuge of my soul,
will I be able to let go of my fears and my rebellious ways. When I realize that He has given me all that I need, I will know that "He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name",
Psalm 23:2-3.

"But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me", Psalm 13:5-6.

Basic Obedience

   I'm taking my Border Collie, Grace, to Basic Obedience classes. My husband has mowed a walking path around our six acre pasture. When I walk Grace, she literally pulls me around, occasionally leaping into the air to catch a flying insect, while almost pulling my arm out of its' socket.
   Something had to be done before I got hurt so I looked into Obedience classes.  I was so nervous before the first class, afraid that Grace would not be obedient at all. But she was so good, and all because of a little metal collar with prongs called a choke collar. It supposedly mimics a mother's tug on the neck when they are puppies.
   Grace is a different dog with her choke collar on. We start off walking; she starts to pull me; I stop; she feels the tug; she walks beside me. It's nothing short of amazing.
   That's sort of how the Holy Spirit works with me. I start to do something I shouldn't do and I feel a tug, kind of like a nudge in my heart.  The more of these nudges I get then the more I learn that it is best to walk in God's way and not my own. I give thanks to the Holy Spirit for teaching me Basic Obedience. It's nothing short of amazing.
"If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it isn't looking for Him and doesn't recognize Him. But you know Him because He lives with you now and later will be in you", John 14:15-17.

No Running Start

   We're getting our sheep ready for breeding season in October and November. We are feeding grain to all the ewes to get them big and healthy. My husband went to Oklahoma last week and bought a new ram with better bloodlines. We've sold our other ram.
   When my husband went to pick the ram up, he was in a pen with three other rams. There were tires laying all across the floor of the pen. He was told that this was so they couldn't get a running start.
   If left to their own devices, the rams will fight each other. They do this by butting their heads. If they can start running and build up speed, then the butt will pack a wallop. The tires in their pen will keep them from doing this.
   You wonder what this has to do with anything. That picture has been in my head ever since my husband told me this. When I start to have negative thoughts, I see them surrounded by Jesus. This hems them in and they can't get a running start. So I can think positive thoughts instead.
"And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you the way out so that you can endure", 1 Corinthians 10:13.

IT'S ALL GRACE

  I confess that I'm having a hard time dealing with these shingles. As the red blisters have popped out on my back, the negative thinking has popped out in my mind. "I don't feel good. I'm in pain. I'm never going to get over this. Why has this happened to me?? Me?!? ME!!!"
   I just need to gaze out my kitchen window as I eat my breakfast. Mister house finch has brightened up the feeder with his jaunty red cap and vest. I'm in awe over the Creator who fashioned his feathers that way.
   I just need to walk out my front door to water my black-eyed susans. A painted lady butterfly is basking on a petal. The intricacy of her design takes my breath away.
   I look around our little sheep farm and I see the sheep and the dogs and our neighbors' cows. Life is precious in all the forms it takes. I thank God again for my life, for life.
   As the evening settles over us, I look out my back window. The sky has turned a pinkish-purple as the sun says goodbye to the day. I ponder the wonder of the One who spoke the sun into being.
   I just need to take my mind off of myself and my puny messes and focus on the One whose specialty is cleaning up messes. There is nothing I can do or think that will keep Him from loving me.
   I just need to remember that IT'S ALL GRACE.
"Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into His heavenly kingdom. All glory to God forever and forever. Amen.", 2 Timothy 4:17-18.

Victory

   I've got Shingles. It is painful. I was going to post about how hard it is to deal with this pain and about how easy it would be for me to slip into depression. But I'm not going to. I'm going to post about the victories Jesus has given me over this pain as he has walked through it with me. I'm going to post that He is never more than a prayer away. I'm going to post that because Jesus lives in me that I have the strength to bear anything. Because of the power of Jesus I can live in victory no matter what the world throws at me.
"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me", 2 Corinthians 12:8-9.