Monday, May 28, 2012
Restore Me
Pain
Envelopes my body
Winding its way through
Seeking to get beyond
My hardened heart
And close enough
To the hot healing
Touch of Jesus
To melt into
My heart
And restore me to wellness.
Thank you to my blogging friends for your prayers. I am still in constant pain. I have an appointment in the morning with a pain management doctor. I pray he can do something to help me. I know Jesus is my only real Healer and I can feel Him working on me spiritually as well as physically. It warms my heart to know that women across the country I haven't ever met are praying for me. It means so very much to me. God Bless you all!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Hard Times
I've been having a hard time getting my blog done lately. I don't like to complain about my problems but instead want to glorify God with my writing. But everything is a tremendous struggle for me right now.
I have severe pain in my upper back area from a bone spur in my neck pressing on a nerve, plus I was diagnosed Wednesday with polymyalgia rheumatica, an inflammatory arthritis disease
So I'm a mess, puddled at the feet of Jesus, begging for greater grace. I honestly have to sit in my chair after breakfast each morning and pray for God to give me the strength and grace to get up and take a shower and get dressed. And if it's a day to wash my hair, that takes another measure of energy and power.
But praise the Lord, that is exactly what He does for me. He says in 2 Corinthians 12:8 "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness". I am finding it to be true that because of Christ, "when I am weak, then I am strong", 2 Corinthians 12:10.
I've had some hard days this past week, days when I didn't think I could live with the pain and sickness another minute. When I drop my hope on the hard edges of life and it shatters into pieces, then Jesus picks up the pieces and puts them back together, ties the hope with a red bow and gives me a big hug of grace. And I can make it another step, then another. He never disappoints. I will appreciate prayers for my healing, dear friends. Thank you so much!
I have severe pain in my upper back area from a bone spur in my neck pressing on a nerve, plus I was diagnosed Wednesday with polymyalgia rheumatica, an inflammatory arthritis disease
So I'm a mess, puddled at the feet of Jesus, begging for greater grace. I honestly have to sit in my chair after breakfast each morning and pray for God to give me the strength and grace to get up and take a shower and get dressed. And if it's a day to wash my hair, that takes another measure of energy and power.
But praise the Lord, that is exactly what He does for me. He says in 2 Corinthians 12:8 "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness". I am finding it to be true that because of Christ, "when I am weak, then I am strong", 2 Corinthians 12:10.
I've had some hard days this past week, days when I didn't think I could live with the pain and sickness another minute. When I drop my hope on the hard edges of life and it shatters into pieces, then Jesus picks up the pieces and puts them back together, ties the hope with a red bow and gives me a big hug of grace. And I can make it another step, then another. He never disappoints. I will appreciate prayers for my healing, dear friends. Thank you so much!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Thankful for Little Things
Every day something new happens that she has to deal with that keep piling up and adding to her burden, like the sink disposal goes out, the iphone quits working, and the e-mails don't go through.
You know the frustrations. We've all had them. "When it rains it pours" and she's had a gully-washer at her house.
She called me this morning in tears because her 16 month old daughter fell out of her little rocking chair and gashed her forehead, and she was on her way to the doctor. I assured her these kinds of things happen to little ones all the time and she would be ok.
But I could tell my daughter was at the end of her rope. (She lives 4 hours away so I can't be there to help her.) I prayed on the phone with her and asked God to give her strength to make it through this and all she has to deal with today. I claimed the promise for her, "as thy days so shall thy strength be", Deuteronomy 33:25, and assured her that she could do "all things through Christ who gives her strength", Philippians 4:13.
Then when I got off the phone I prayed some more. I asked God to show up in a real and tangible way and make this easier for her to deal with, since she was beyond overwhelmed. She didn't call the doctor, but was just going to show up, hoping it would be quicker than the emergency room. I thought that at the least, she would have a long wait at the doctors, and at the worse, they would tell her to go on to the emergency room.
But God did answer my prayers and He did show up in real and tangible ways. When she got to the doctor's office they put her immediately in to see the doctor. The doctor told her the baby wouldn't need stitches. He pulled the cut together and put some tape on it. He said it might leave a little scar but nothing to worry about and it would heal quickly and well.
My daughter called me back to relay this news and she was feeling better. I told her to focus on the little things that went right each day and not on the little things that went wrong. There are always little things in each day to be thankful to God for. I need to remember this myself.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
God Gives Greater Grace
My youngest daughter's husband fell and broke a vertebra in his back Saturday while camping. He had spinal fusion surgery last night and it appears successful, although he will have a long and painful recovery, six months to a year. On top of that, he does not have health insurance. He runs a handy-man service that his step-father owns and like many small businesses they cannot afford insurance. I'm so worried for them because they have my two little granddaughters to care for, and they hardly have enough money to buy groceries and diapers, much less pay off a huge medical bill.
But I'm not going to fall into despair. I'm going to pray for them. I'm going to surrender this to God. I'm going to fall at the feet of God and beg for mercy and grace for them. I'm going to believe that when we have great problems then God has greater grace. "But He gives greater grace", James 4:6. I'm going to trust in God's unfailing love. "But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me", Psalm 13:5-6.
But I'm not going to fall into despair. I'm going to pray for them. I'm going to surrender this to God. I'm going to fall at the feet of God and beg for mercy and grace for them. I'm going to believe that when we have great problems then God has greater grace. "But He gives greater grace", James 4:6. I'm going to trust in God's unfailing love. "But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me", Psalm 13:5-6.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Doing The Right Thing
A little drama unfolded in the area where I live this past week. Actually, it was a big drama. I live in an area of the "Bible Belt" and an area where "Football is King" and these two collided and caused quite an explosion.
The head football coach of our university's team (who is married and has four college age children) made a series of very poor, selfish choices. In a week's time he went from being on the pinnacle of the world to experiencing a long and painful slide to nothingness.
It all started with a motorcycle ride on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The motorcycle crashed on a curve and ended up in a roadside ditch. The coach ended up with broken bones and lacerations. He was transported to a hospital and released four days later with casts on his broken bones and a brace on his neck. He oversaw spring football practice on the day of his release from the press box and all seemed well in our little college town.
But, alas, the truth has a way of coming out. When the state police released their report it was discovered that there had been a blonde woman half the coach's age riding on the back of the motorcycle. The coach had told everyone point blank that he was riding by himself.
It escalated from there as these things have a way of doing. It was found out that he had recently hired the woman for an administrative position on his staff that 139 other people had applied for. And that he had given her $20,000 for an undisclosed reason.
Our athletic director put the coach on unpaid leave while he sorted through the whole sordid mess. Our fans polarized into two camps: those who wanted to keep him regardless of what he did so we would have a chance to compete for a national championship; and those who thought that honor and integrity were more important than winning and wanted him gone sooner rather than later.
Praise God, our athletic director did the right thing. He fired him immediately, at a loss to the coach of several million dollars a year salary, stating that no one person was more important than running an honest program and that the student athletes needed a coach that could be trusted. Unfortunately, doing the right thing doesn't happen often enough in college athletics today.
I told this story because I think it's a good illustration that God's way is the only right way to go. When a man (or woman) tries to go his own way, the temptations of the flesh and the pull of the world are too much to overcome, and you will end up losing everything that matters.
"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts", II Timothy 2:22. NLT
"Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. Give me purity of heart, so that I may honor you", Psalms 86:11. NLT
The head football coach of our university's team (who is married and has four college age children) made a series of very poor, selfish choices. In a week's time he went from being on the pinnacle of the world to experiencing a long and painful slide to nothingness.
It all started with a motorcycle ride on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The motorcycle crashed on a curve and ended up in a roadside ditch. The coach ended up with broken bones and lacerations. He was transported to a hospital and released four days later with casts on his broken bones and a brace on his neck. He oversaw spring football practice on the day of his release from the press box and all seemed well in our little college town.
But, alas, the truth has a way of coming out. When the state police released their report it was discovered that there had been a blonde woman half the coach's age riding on the back of the motorcycle. The coach had told everyone point blank that he was riding by himself.
It escalated from there as these things have a way of doing. It was found out that he had recently hired the woman for an administrative position on his staff that 139 other people had applied for. And that he had given her $20,000 for an undisclosed reason.
Our athletic director put the coach on unpaid leave while he sorted through the whole sordid mess. Our fans polarized into two camps: those who wanted to keep him regardless of what he did so we would have a chance to compete for a national championship; and those who thought that honor and integrity were more important than winning and wanted him gone sooner rather than later.
Praise God, our athletic director did the right thing. He fired him immediately, at a loss to the coach of several million dollars a year salary, stating that no one person was more important than running an honest program and that the student athletes needed a coach that could be trusted. Unfortunately, doing the right thing doesn't happen often enough in college athletics today.
I told this story because I think it's a good illustration that God's way is the only right way to go. When a man (or woman) tries to go his own way, the temptations of the flesh and the pull of the world are too much to overcome, and you will end up losing everything that matters.
"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts", II Timothy 2:22. NLT
"Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. Give me purity of heart, so that I may honor you", Psalms 86:11. NLT
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Cross Gazing
This week, I'm going to spend more time gazing on the cross. I can't think of any better way to spend my time. When I gaze on the cross:
*I realize that I am less than nothing, that no good thing lives in me except what I have because of Jesus.
*I realize that because Jesus lives in me, I have all things; he is the remedy for all my ills, the solution for all my problems, the fulfillment of all my longings.
*I see a love so lavish, so vast, so all encompassing, that it takes my breath away and knocks me to my knees.
*I see a body that raised up to take the full measure of punishment so that I wouldn't have to take any punishment for sins I've committed.
*I see unmerited favor, unexplainable riches, grace that looked upon the mess of my life with lovingkindness and faithfully transformed it into something beautiful.
* I see the end of my dead end life that was going nowhere good, and the beginning of a great love that opened my eyes, softened my heart, and set my feet on a solid path.
*I see the precious blood flowing off of His pierced body, and I want nothing more than to drink that glorious blood until all that's left of me is His blood flowing freely through my body.
*I realize that I am less than nothing, that no good thing lives in me except what I have because of Jesus.
*I realize that because Jesus lives in me, I have all things; he is the remedy for all my ills, the solution for all my problems, the fulfillment of all my longings.
*I see a love so lavish, so vast, so all encompassing, that it takes my breath away and knocks me to my knees.
*I see a body that raised up to take the full measure of punishment so that I wouldn't have to take any punishment for sins I've committed.
*I see unmerited favor, unexplainable riches, grace that looked upon the mess of my life with lovingkindness and faithfully transformed it into something beautiful.
* I see the end of my dead end life that was going nowhere good, and the beginning of a great love that opened my eyes, softened my heart, and set my feet on a solid path.
*I see the precious blood flowing off of His pierced body, and I want nothing more than to drink that glorious blood until all that's left of me is His blood flowing freely through my body.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
My Bridegroom
Weddings pop up all over the place this time of year. I love the idea that Jesus is my bridegroom. I like to think about Jesus looking at me and seeing me as His innocent bride; pure as the white lace and satin of an elegant wedding gown, as untouched as the petals of a white rosebud.
Because of the abuse, I didn't feel like an innocent bride when I married my husband. Instead I felt damaged and dirty. I went through the motions of wearing the white gown, knowing inside that I was not the pure bride that the white was suppose to symbolize.
My innocence had been stolen from me as a young child and I hadn't felt clean since. But Jesus changed all that. His crimson blood washed me clean through, made me "white as snow".
In a class on the Blood Covenant at my church, the teacher, Linda Apple, gave us some information on a bridgroom according to the Hebrew tradition:
"When a young man decided to marry a young woman in ancient Israel, he would prepare a contract oe covenant to present to the young woman and her father. The most important part of the contract was the bride price, the price that the young man was willing to pay her father in order to marry the young woman.
The bride price was generally quite high. The groom was willing to pay it. This was an indication of the love that the young man had for the young woman. If the bride price was agreeable to the young woman's father, the young man would pour a glass of wine for the young woman. If the young woman drank the wine, it would indicate her acceptance of the proposal.
At this point, the young man and woman would be betrothed. Betrothal was legally binding, just like a marriage. The bridegroom would then leave to prepare a place for her. She would bathe herself, make herself beautiful for him, and consecrate herself as a way of showing she was betrothed. She didn't know when he would return. She had to be ready for him. When the bridegroom returned, as he neared her house to get her, he would shout and blow a ram's horn as a way of letting her know he is coming and for her to gather her things."
I am so thankful Jesus sees me as spotless and wants me as his bride. I'm awed over the price He was willing to pay for me. He has given me His cup and I have accepted it. He is my bridegroom. I am His bride. He has gone to prepare a place for me and I am readying myself for His return. The we will celebrate.
"The time's drawing near
When He will appear
And, Oh, We will stand by His side
A strong, pure, spotless bride.
We will dance on the streets
That are golden
The glorious bride and
The great Son of Man".
(We Will Dance by David Ruis)
Because of the abuse, I didn't feel like an innocent bride when I married my husband. Instead I felt damaged and dirty. I went through the motions of wearing the white gown, knowing inside that I was not the pure bride that the white was suppose to symbolize.
My innocence had been stolen from me as a young child and I hadn't felt clean since. But Jesus changed all that. His crimson blood washed me clean through, made me "white as snow".
In a class on the Blood Covenant at my church, the teacher, Linda Apple, gave us some information on a bridgroom according to the Hebrew tradition:
"When a young man decided to marry a young woman in ancient Israel, he would prepare a contract oe covenant to present to the young woman and her father. The most important part of the contract was the bride price, the price that the young man was willing to pay her father in order to marry the young woman.
The bride price was generally quite high. The groom was willing to pay it. This was an indication of the love that the young man had for the young woman. If the bride price was agreeable to the young woman's father, the young man would pour a glass of wine for the young woman. If the young woman drank the wine, it would indicate her acceptance of the proposal.
At this point, the young man and woman would be betrothed. Betrothal was legally binding, just like a marriage. The bridegroom would then leave to prepare a place for her. She would bathe herself, make herself beautiful for him, and consecrate herself as a way of showing she was betrothed. She didn't know when he would return. She had to be ready for him. When the bridegroom returned, as he neared her house to get her, he would shout and blow a ram's horn as a way of letting her know he is coming and for her to gather her things."
I am so thankful Jesus sees me as spotless and wants me as his bride. I'm awed over the price He was willing to pay for me. He has given me His cup and I have accepted it. He is my bridegroom. I am His bride. He has gone to prepare a place for me and I am readying myself for His return. The we will celebrate.
"The time's drawing near
When He will appear
And, Oh, We will stand by His side
A strong, pure, spotless bride.
We will dance on the streets
That are golden
The glorious bride and
The great Son of Man".
(We Will Dance by David Ruis)
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