Monday, November 3, 2014


Last week, I made the mistake of going into the pasture to see Rosemary, my pet sheep. Our 275 pound ram, Wildcard, was in there with the ewes for breeding season and  I had forgotten my husband's warning not to go in there while Wildcard was there. Sure enough, he rammed me off of my feet and I flew through the air and onto my bottom. I never saw him coming. I was loving on Rosemary and he blindsided me.
I thought later that that was what Satan does to us. We are meandering through our journey of life. Everything is coming up roses then Wham! Satan causes something to happen that knocks us off our feet. But just like Jesus protected me from broken bones, Jesus' grace covers us when Satan attacks. Jesus gives us victory over Satan because He showed us on the cross that He is greater than anything Satan ambushes us with.
"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over these people, BECAUSE THE SPIRIT WHO LIVES IN YOU IS GREATER THAN THE SPIRIT WHO LIVES IN THE WORLD", 1 John 4:4.  

Friday, October 24, 2014

One Thing

   My schedule really gets busy this time of year, with preparing our farm for winter on top of the holidays, etc. etc. We all have that problem, don't we?  I'm trying very hard to live by the mantra I read on Emily Freeman's blog, "Chatting at the sky": "I want to live small, move slowly, and hold one thing at a time in my hand".
   Since we moved to the farm my life has become simpler. I refuse to push myself like I used to, trying to multitask a dozen things at once. But I have to really, intentionally, stick to my mantra or life pushes me back into craziness.
   Living small, moving slowly, and holding one thing at a time works best for me at this stage of my life. And if I make Jesus that one thing, then He gives me His peace. "Be still and know that I am God", Psalm 46:10. "I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled and afraid", John 14:27.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Life's A Puzzle

   Don't you feel sometimes like life is a puzzle and you are always looking for that missing piece? I do! But I think that missing piece is Grace, and if I let Grace into my life, then all the pieces will fit together.
   Here is what Calvin Miller has to say about Grace in his wonderful book, "Into the Depths of God":

"Life's not always easy to assemble. Just when you think all the pieces fit, you discover the whole assembly is a bit off. A kind of dread occupies your thoughts. You have the overwhelming feeling that nothing will ever make sense again.

" 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing", Ecclesiastes !:2,8.

"What puts life back together? Grace! Grace is the healing generosity of God that touches us so powerfully that nothing is ever quite the same again. Grace is never to be deserved, yet Grace assembles the odd pieces of our lives."

   What is Grace, you may wonder?  Grace is "God's Riches At Christ's Expense". Grace is getting more than we deserve. Certainly, Grace is these things but mainly Grace is the man, Jesus Christ.

   "For the law was given through Moses, Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ", John 1:17.
   "The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of Grace and truth", John 1:14.
   "From the fullness of His Grace we have all received one blessing after another", John 1:16.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Leaping for Joy

   In the Ozark Mountains, where I live, it's beginning to look a little like fall. Not the full blown color that stops you in your tracks, but just enough color to keep me feeling hopeful. The air is cool and crisp, less humid, and it has the animals on our farm leaping in the air for joy. Really!! You should see the sheep jumping straight up on all four legs. Even the alpacas are getting in on the act.
   On these gorgeous, sunny, fall days, it just makes you feel good to be alive. I'm tempted to leap in the air myself; and would, except for the fear of breaking something that I need. I'm thankful to God to live in an area that has all four seasons. I'm realizing on the farm that they each have their own special beauty.
   It would serve us all well this year, to meditate on and find joy in the beauty of God's creation, and not to let the crazy mess our world is in get us down. Joy can be found in the simplest of ordinary moments if we share them with Jesus.
"I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow", John 15:11.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

My Faithful Companion

   Lord, You pulled me across that chasm forever, drawing me close to You and away from that disabling shame. When I was in my teens and twenties, spiraling quickly downward, Your hold on me kept me from drowning in my recklessness.

   Now, as I journey through my autumn years, the certainty has grown in my heart that You've always been faithful, You've always been good. You've never failed to meet a need I had with Your perfect provision. I love you, Jesus. thank You for being my faithful companion.

"But the godly will flourish like palm trees, and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. For they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they will still produce fruit, they will remain vital and green. They will declare, "The Lord is just! He is my rock! Their is no evil in Him", Psalm 92: 12-15.

"The Lord will hold you in His hand for all to see-a splendid crown in the hand of God. Never again will you be called "The Forsaken City" or "The Desolate Land". Your new name will be "The City of God's Delight" and "The Bride of God", for The Lord delights in you and will claim you to be His bride", Isaiah 62:3-4.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Arise and Shine Farm

   We launched our new website, I am writing a blog there about our animals and farm life. Most of my posts this past year have had that theme anyway. Living the farm life has changed my husband and myself-for the better. We are more relaxed and peaceful, healthier and happier, more contented.

   I praise God for knowing that this is where we needed to be and for working out all the details. He has shown us anew that He is good, that He answers prayers, that He knows our needs better than we do, and that He can be trusted.

"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me", Psalm 13:6.

   I've loved getting to know my blogging friends. I will come back to this site to post and to keep up with everyone. I hope you will visit me at

Monday, July 14, 2014

Arise and Shine

   We have a new website for our farm. It will be launched in a few weeks. I will let you know when. The website will be I will be doing a blog there about our animals and the daily activities on our farm. But I will continue to post at this site. Because it was started as a love letter to Jesus for healing me from the damage of my past. Nothing has changed there.

   Except that I'm more in love with Jesus than ever before. I am amazed at His tender love and goodness towards me. I don't deserve His gift of grace but I'm so incredibly thankful for it. How He has changed me in the three years I've been doing this blog is nothing short of a miracle.

* I was a mess but He's turned me into a miracle.
*I felt forsaken by God but He shined His goodness on me.
*I thought I was all alone but He stood by me in faithfulness.
*I didn't think I deserved grace but He rained it down on me.


"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him. Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need", Psalm 34:8-9.

Monday, June 30, 2014


                                             Thelma, a greedy pygmy goat
                                              Louise, another greedy pygmy goat

   The Dictionary defines greed as "a selfish and excessive desire to have more of something than is needed". The Bible puts it in the same sentence with wickedness, murder, and malicious behavior. My pastor in his sermon Sunday said it is a spirit. Obviously, it is not desirable to have; but I'm afraid it comes naturally to us; or, speaking of myself, to me. I'm like the little girl in a recent tv commercial for insurance; the one where the man in a suit asks kindergarteners questions. There is one where the little girl answers, "If I like it, I want more. I want more". I can relate to that!
   I've been convicted this past year of being a greedy person. Last summer, I did a study of Jen Hatmaker's book, "The Seven Experiment". In it she addresses seven areas of her life where she has excess. I was motivated to clear out half of my closet and donate it to Goodwill. And I made a decision to buy no more clothes the rest of 2013. And I've tried using less paper towels.
   But when 2014 came along, so did my desire to buy clothes I don't need. And I've gone back to using too many paper towels. But it doesn't stop there. I love to shop flea markets. I recently spent $90 on things for my house that weren't really needed. My house needs nothing more. Don't even get me started on food. We have a large vegetable garden and I try to eat whole foods. I love sugar. I'm addicted to it. The harder I try to give it up, the more I crave it. The more I crave it, the more I eat it. It's a vicious cycle.
   Even the animals on our farm are greedy. The two big dogs won't share with each other or any of the animals. The largest pygmy goats won't share with the youngest (their own babies). We're all out of control. What to do? I'm going to start with prayer and extra time with Jesus. That's what I need most when I'm out of control. God has blessed me abundantly. I need to unclench my selfish fists and let go-to others who need it more. I don't know what to do about the pygmy goats.

"You say, "I am allowed to do anything"-but not everything is good for you. And even though "I am allowed to do anything", I must not become a slave to anything", 1 Corinthians 6:12.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Sovereign Lord

   We had such a good time with our youngest daughter, Carrie, and my granddaughters, Kaya (3), and Bella (9), last week. They live in Oklahoma. We went to some of the fun and beautiful places in our area: Devil's Den State Park, the castle at Wilson Park, and the University of Arkansas, where we found my daughter's engraved name on the sidewalk (a U.A. tradition).  We also spent some time chilling out on the farm. Carrie has always had a way with animals and her daughters are just like her.
    My daughter and her husband lived here until Bella was four years old. I kept Bella while Carrie taught school and we became very close. It almost killed me when they moved and I hate it that I've missed seeing Kaya grow up. Carrie is really good about sending me pictures by text and on Facebook, so that I feel like I'm still a little part of their lives.

   When they moved is when I learned some important truths:
*1-I CAN LIVE WITHOUT ANYTHING BUT JESUS. But I have to have Him and He is always with me.
*2-GOD IS SOVEREIGN. He always knows what is best for us and He wants the best for us.

   My son-in-law had been without a job for a year when they moved so he could run his stepfather's handyman business. The business there has thrived;  they are renting the best house they have ever had; and Carrie and the girls are thriving, too. They have lots of friends there and lots of activities to do.
   It was a good move for them. God knew it would be. He planned it and has orchestrated all the events. I know I can trust Him with the things I hold most precious.

"You have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord. From my childhood I have trusted you", Psalm 71:5.
"I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign Lord. I will tell everyone that you alone are just", Psalm 71:16.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Place for Rosemary

   We've been so busy on the farm this spring that I've barely had time to write my blog. But I had to write about Rosemary. Rosemary is my favorite animal on our farm. (She's in the forefront of the picture). She was the last lamb born last spring, and the smallest. She had a  birthmark that looked like a black teardrop by her left eye. I named her Rosemary after my mother.
   The bigger lambs would go quickly to the feed trough and never leave room for Rosemary. She didn't grow as fast as they did. Then she got sick and we spent some time nursing her back to health. My husband said if she made it, that we could keep her as a pet and never sell her.
   So we put her in the barnyard with our two massive Livestock Guardian Dogs, Samson and Delilah.
After a few days of chasing her around, the big dogs accepted her, and the three became fast friends.
The only problem was, after a while, Rosemary began acting like a dog. The dogs would chase the pygmy goats around the barnyard and Rosemary would join in on the chase, I said, "Rosemary, you're a sheep. Sheep don't chase other animals". Then she began putting her two front legs up on me to beg for animal crackers. (I know, but they all love animal crackers?!?) I said, "Rosemary, you're a sheep. Don't beg like dogs do".
   . We had two older pygmy goats and then we bought two babies and put them in the barnyard because we couldn't keep them enclosed anywhere else. The baby pygmy goats began following Rosemary all over; they had made her their new mother. And she seemed to relish the attention. I said to my husband, "Rosemary can't decide if she's a dog or a goat". She became part of the "west pasture gang" for awhile. This gang of sheep and pygmy goats;   who by then had added three members, baby pygmies, would parade down the fence line in the morning as far as they could and parade back to the barnyard fence in the evenings to sleep for the night. I said, "Rosemary, you're a sheep. Quit acting like a goat".
   My husband said when we got our 12 new ewes, we would put Rosemary back with the sheep. They would be younger than her and maybe she would fit in with them. Last week, my husband picked up our new ewes and put them in the pasture. He put Rosemary in the pasture with them. She stood for 3 days at the barnyard gate staring at her beloved dogs and goats. I said, "I'm afraid we've ruined Rosemary from ever becoming a sheep"
   But, like all good stories, this one has a happy ending. After a few days, Rosemary decided to be a sheep. In fact, she's the leader of the pack. Those smaller sheep follow her everywhere she goes. Because she's first in line, she gets the choicest grasses. She seems happy and peaceful Like Rosemary, we all need to find our place; a place where we belong and feel accepted. My place is at the feet of Jesus. There is no better place for me.
"I will never fail you, I will never abandon you", Hebrews 13:5..

Friday, May 9, 2014

Farm Mothers

                                           One of Hariett's spotted lambs
                                           Louise before having triplets
                                           Pygmy goat twins and Thelma's smallest

    In honor of Mother's Day, I want to share with you the mothers we have on our farm. Harriett, the sheep, was the first to birth this spring. She birthed two of the cutest brown and white spotted lambs. We weren't sure if she was pregnant but one morning in February a man working on our house said he had spotted some lambs in our west pasture. So we ran out there and, sure enough, Harriett had come through. She's been a good mother and the lambs are healthy and growing too fast for my liking.
    Then Louise, one of our pygmy goats, gave birth to triplets-three times the cuteness. Sadly, the smallest only lived a few weeks. But she's been a good mother and her kids are growing super fast and healthy. There had been no mistaking she was pregnant because she was as wide as she was tall before giving birth.
    We didn't think that Thelma, another pygmy goat, was pregnant because she never got any bigger.
But she surprised us on Easter evening. We went out to the barnyard and saw a tiny little kid. At first we thought she was one of the twins but then realized she was smaller than anything we have had birthed here. Thelma has been a good mother. Her little kid thinks she's as big as the others. She looks like a bunny when you see her ears sticking up out of the grass and she is jumping around.
    That's all the babies we had this year. We thank God they are all thriving and growing. We are getting twelve new ewes in a few weeks so we could have two dozen lambs next spring. I hope so, they are fun to watch.
    Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers. I'm thankful that I had a good mother. She has been gone four years this summer. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. If your mother is still alive, spend time with her and tell her you love her. Have a happy day!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The West Pasture Gang

    Out in the pasture,  on the left of our house,  on our little farm, we have put our silly and sassy assortment of barnyard animals that I fondly call "The West Pasture Gang". Members are Rosemary, my pet sheep. She was the last lamb born last spring, and the smallest. The other lambs, larger, would butt her away from the food and water. Then she got sick so we put her in a pen by herself and fed her food with medicine in it. My husband said if she pulled through we would keep her as a pet and never sell her. She is very sweet and serves as a mother figure for the little goats.
    Then there is Harriette. The sheep we have are katahdins. They are a hair sheep-not wool-and are supposed to shed their hair each spring. Harriette has not shed her hair for two springs so no one has wanted to buy her. She's quite rotund and foul tempered, probably due to the fact that she has a large cocoon of hair around her middle. Handy in the winter but not so much in the summer.
    The other members are pygmy goats. The ring leader is Louise. Louise has a propensity for head-butting anyone in her vicinity. I would say she is doing it in order to protect her babies, Lola and Lynn, but she has been head-butting the other animals ever since she came. She's just mean.
    Then there is Thelma. She is the same age, 3, and size as Louise; and is the target for most of Louises's hard hits. I've been thinking that she was getting awfully independent because she's been staying away from the others. But she surprised us Easter evening by giving birth to a baby goat I've named Taylor. We didn't even know she was pregnant,
   Then there's Peggy. Peggy is younger and smaller than the others. She's a feisty little thing. She can usually be seen frolicking in the sun or standing on top of the doghouse begging me for animal crackers.
    Louis's two babies are Lola and Lynn. They had a brother but he died, so sad, They love to run and jump their 4 legs straight in the air. Right now they stick close to each other and close to their mother . Louise is a good mother and doesn't head-butt her babies.
    All of the gang, sheep and goats, love animal crackers. They can't get enough. Other than that, they live a simple life. The follow each other to the front of the pasture in the mornings and parade back to the fence closest to the barn around sunset for the evening and to sleep.
    What's the spiritual lesson in all this? Community. God made us to live in relationship, with Him, and with other people. No matter if people are mean, or different, or don't act like us, we should try to build a relationship with them. No matter if they're a different shape, a different color, or a different race, we are to love them.
"Owe nothing to anyone-except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God's law', Romans 13:8.
"And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows", I Thessalonians 3:12.

Monday, April 7, 2014

The Mood Cure

    Last week was a bad week for me. I have been on a pain medication, Tramadol, for my back pain for two years. Tramadol is a synthetic, man-made, opiate-like drug that is not considered a controlled substance except in a few states. It has helped my back pain and enabled me to live my life again, along with a couple of other meds I take.
    My husband and I went to Kansas City the weekend a week ago, to an alpaca show. Stupid me either misplaced my Tramadol or it was stolen from the hotel room. And my pain management doctor  has a policy to not refill lost or stolen pills. So I was forced to stop the Tramadol cold turkey.
    It was horrible. I've had the flu and the shingles this year but this withdrawal made me sicker than both of those combined. I had sweating, insomnia, body pain, depression. The first few days I thought I was going to die. I tried to get in to see my PCP but couldn't get an appointment with her until this week. I began to think God was wanting me to get off of this medicine but I didn't know if I could.
    Then I remembered a book I read several years ago that had helped me, "The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross. I got it out and started reading it again. She is a psychotherapist and pioneer in the field of nutritional psychology. She has treated thousands of women and addicts in her clinic in SanFransisco.
Her program uses four mood-building amino acids that can be bought at any health food store, as well as nutritional supplements and a diet rich in good mood foods like protein, fats, and vegetables.
    So I started following the suggestions in her book and immediately started feeling better. Now, a week later, I feel better than I have in a long time. Tramadol had not only helped my back pain but it elevated my mood also.  After two years on it though, it had numbed me so that I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't cry no matter how much I wanted to. But yesterday I went in tears to the altar of our church to be prayed over by an elder. The tears wouldn't stop. It was so nice to have that release of sweet tears.
    Last week, I couldn't wait until I could get back on Tramadol. I was counting off the days until my next doctor appointment. Now, I'm going to try to stay off of it. I'm going to follow the program in "The Mood Cure" to elevate my mood so that I can handle the pain better. So far it's working and my mind feels clearer than it has in years. All glory goes to my Savior always.
     I'm not saying everyone needs to get off their pain meds for chronic pain. That med gave me my life back when I was in so much pain I couldn't function. And I may have to get back on it again sometime. But if anyone wants a natural approach to elevate their moods so they can handle life than check out "The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross.
"Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have a new life. So use your whole body
as an instrument to do what is right", Romans 6:13

Thursday, March 27, 2014

My Way!!!

                                          Bella giving a bottle to the calf.
                                          Kaya being Kaya.
    My two granddaughters came to visit last week for Spring Break. They are 3 and 9 years old, red-haired and high maintenance. Bella, the 9 year old, is famous for her "Bella Meltdowns". She is growing up. She didn't have a single meltdown while she was here.
    Her little sister, Kaya, however, was a stinker. If I would tell her that she couldn't have something or do something she wanted; she would either pucker up and cry or throw a temper tantrum. Clearly, she hasn't been told "No" much in her short life.
   If I asked her if she wanted to paint, or play outside, or get dressed-reasonable requests, she would say "No, Mommy do it. I don't like you".
    It reminded me of how I am toward God. If He closes the door on something I really want, I either pucker up and cry or throw a fit. I don't come right out and say that I don't like Him, but my thoughts and actions show that I am feeling that way.
    I've grown up somewhat. I know now that God's way is the best way, the only way. I'm not as rebellious as I was when I was younger; but I'm known to still have an occasional "Bella Meltdown" if I don't get my way.

    Lord, Save me from myself. Help me to always want your way in my life. Help me to keep my thoughts always on You and put You first in my priorities. Thank you for understanding when I have a meltdown, and for always loving me , even when I'm not loveable.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect", Romans 12:2.

"No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus", Romans 8:39.

Monday, March 17, 2014

The Hare and the Tortoise

                                          Elizabetta is an alpaca
                                           Rosemary my pet sheep
                                           Thelma is a pygmy goat
                                            Sampson and Delilah are our LGDs

   My husband is a hare; he is a type A high energy person. I am a tortoise, slowly meandering around
most days with my head tucked in my shell. We have been so busy this almost spring on our farm. My husband's head has been spinning around thinking of all he wants and needs to do. I'm tucking my head further in my shell so it doesn't start spinning, too.
   We sold all our sheep except Rosemary, my pet, and Harriett, who doesn't shed any of her hair. We have 12 new ewes coming in May so we have to get the pasture ready for them-checking the fence, providing food troughs and water buckets.
   In the meantime, my husband the hare decided he would buy some alpacas-7 females and two  crias
and two herd sires. In April we will breed them, hoping for more cria next April. They are pregnant for 12 months?!?!
    I tried to talk my husband out of getting the alpacas but when his head is set on doing something, it's best to just step out of his way and let him go after it. Now that we have them, I'm in love-again! Their long necks are so graceful and they are peaceful like the sheep.
   We need to halter train the alpacas before the shearer comes in April to shear them all. Then we need to figure out what to do with all that valuable fleece. We have gone to a couple of spinning classes and have discovered that we have absolutely no talent for this. Needles and yarn have never been my friends.
   I need to take my Border collie, Grace, to agility classes; and all our dogs are due vaccinations and grooming. We now have a way to transport Sampson and Delilah; they have overgrown any type of vehicle except my husband's truck. He has found a ramp that they will walk up on to get in the truck bed. At least, Delilah has done this. Not Sampson our huge baby yet.
   We have 3 calves we are raising for meat and have had to bottlefeed. Actually we fasten buckets with long nipples onto the fence and they drink from this-twice every day. And our pygmy goat, Louise, gave birth to triplets. What cuteness!!! The 8 hens we bought for laying eggs have laid nary an egg. I've told them they are not at a resort. They are supposed to work for their accomodations.
   On top of all that our daughter and two youngest granddaughters are coming tomorrow to stay the week of their spring break. And then our oldest granddaughter and a friend are coming for their spring break next week.
   Is your head spinning yet? Mine is, just writing this. But it is almost spring (although we had snow and sleet yesterday); and a steady dose of sunshine will cure many ills. Depression?? I don't have time to let it settle in any more. And I believe (finally believe) that my God will never leave me or forsake me. "No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you", Joshua 1:5.
   My God directs my steps, delights in my life's details; and He holds my hand so that I won't fall on my back if I trip over. "The Lord directs the steps of  the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand", Psalm 37:23-24.
   I love this life that God has given me and I can't praise Him enough for making something beautiful out of my life that was such a hot mess and worse. "I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely", Psalm 63:6-8. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Slow As Molasses

    "Slow as molasses" is an old phrase meaning painfully slow. Molasses pours out of a jar very slowly, especially in cold weather. This term is not used as much today since molasses is not used much by our modern fast-food families. It was used as a sweetener in days gone by (before we knew sugar was bad for you) as it is a rich, thick byproduct of sugar making. It was often used to make cookies and other sweet treats, back when mothers baked such things.
    "Slow as molasses" is the best phrase I can think of to describe myself right now. I have been sidelined for weeks with first the flu and then another round of snow and ice. I can sit for hours and watch the little finches fight over the spots on the feeders; or watch the alpacas raise their graceful necks to the sun as they munch on the crunchy coating of snow and sleet that covers our pasture.
    I am perfectly happy being slow this winter. Honestly, I've always been slow. I was never good at witty comebacks. It takes me awhile to process my thoughts and form them into words. I'd much rather give a prepared speech to hundreds of people than answer a question off the top of my head in a small group.
    I always thought slowness was bad; wishing I was the one to deliver that clever remark at just the right time; wishing I was the first one to know how to use the most current device. But that's ok. I'm ok. It's taken me 65 years to believe that I'm ok the way God made me. He made some of us to be the life of the party and some of us to speak life to one other person.
    I praise God for the life He has given me; the gifts He has given me; the sensitive personality He has given me. Even if sometimes I'm as" slow as molasses". Or as " slow as Christmas" which is a long 42 weeks away.
"O, Lord, what a variety of things you have made! In wisdom You have made them all. The earth is full of Your creatures", Psalm 104:24.
"May the glory of the Lord continue forever! The Lord takes pleasure in all He has made", Psalm 104:31.
"I will sing to the Lord as long as I live. I will praise my God to my last breath! May all my thoughts be pleasing to Him, for I rejoice in the Lord", Psalm 104:33-34.

Monday, February 24, 2014


My daughter, her husband, and my two youngest granddaughters came to vist last weekend. We had a wonderful time keeping the little girls while their parents celebrated their dad's birthday.

I didn't know then that they had come bearing a host of nasty germs. My daughter woke up Sunday morning with a stomach virus. My three year old granddaughter went to the doctor Monday with a bad cough and tested positive for flu.

I feared I was bound to get one or the other and, sure enough, I was bitten with the flu bug. I'm obeying my doctor's orders to lay low and push fluids for three days.

As I sit here in my easy chair, I think back to two years ago when I was sidelined with a pinched nerve in my back. That time of seclusion turned out to be a blessing because I got closer to Jesus than I had ever been, after spending weeks just reading my Bible and praying to Him.

At that time, I decided I didn't ever want to go back to fast paced living. I decided that I wanted to live slower, to find the joy that comes in simple moments. I decided I wanted to declutter  my life and live with less. I was dismayed by the greed I saw, in my own closet.

I'm still working, with Jesus' help, in these areas. I still have a long way to go, but I'm determined to scale down my life so I can enjoy it more. I've been bitten by the desire to simplify my life, for real this time. I want to live how ever many days I have left in a way that glorifies God and not to buy into the excess of the world I live in. 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me", Psalm 51:10.
"Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him", Ephesians 4:24.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Furry Love

If you're not a dog person you probably can't relate to this post. I love my Border Collie, Grace. When we got her, we already had two Livestock Guardian dogs and a tiny diva of a Pomeranian. We hadn't planned on getting another dog. But my husband read Philip Keller's book "Lessons Learned from a Sheep Dog, A True Story of Transforming Love", and he just had to have a Border Collie.
So my husband did what he always does, he got on Craigslist, and found a six month old Border Collie. Then I did what I always do, I got on Google, and read up on Border Collies. Everyone said that Border Collies were type A personalities; they are high energy, driven dogs who get obsessed over things and require a lot of time and attention.
I asked my husband if he had read about Border Collies and he said he had not. This from the man who always tells our children to never get a dog without thoroughly researching them, because  they will be living with you for 10 or 15 years. Then I asked him if he had asked the man why he was selling him. Of course, they are not going to tell you it is because the dog has eaten all their furniture,
but it is still good to ask.
Undaunted about either of these things, my husband's desire to get a Border Collie was bordering on obsession. The night he brought her home, he took her out to the backyard. Her head was down and her tail was between her legs. She was scared. I took Grace's face in my hands and told her that she didn't have to be afraid of us, that we were going to love her and take good care of her. That did it. That was the beginning of a beautiful love affair; but it wasn't between my husband and Grace, it was between Grace and me.
I love this dog. I told my husband I didn't realize how much I needed something with flesh and blood and hair to love on. He said I had needed that ever since my beloved  granddaughter had moved to Oklahoma. I guess he's right. Now I love Jesus more than anything on earth and I know that He is the only thing I can't live without; but it's sure nice on a dreary frigid winter day to come home and be greeted by a wiggly, friendly mass of furry love. Always. I praise God for His goodness to me.
"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He has been good to me", Psalm 13:6.

Monday, February 3, 2014

White As Snow

    As I sit here in my sunroom this morning, watching the snow pour out of the sky and cover everything outside in a blanket of white, my thoughts turn to Jesus. The Bible says that Jesus' blood has covered my sins and left me white as snow. "Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean, wash me, and I will be whiter than snow", Psalm 51:7. And I believe it. I finally believe it!
     When I started this blog three years ago on a snowy day in February, I was in such deep depression. I had spent a lifetime listening to Satan's voice telling me I was worthless, damaged and different because of the sexual abuse. I had believed it and I was beat down. I lived in constant pain.
     That's when Jesus showed up and began to transform my heart. He led me to a Bible study for wounded women. In that class, my eyes were opened to see that I had let lies and negative thinking rule my life. I was defeated.
      Step by step, Jesus began to reveal His Grace to me. He reached down to this damaged woman and shined His light into all the places that were deeply hurt, all the places that had bled sorrow into my life. He showed me that I was not a bad person, but a woman that something bad had happened to.
     I learned that it didn't matter how good I was. All that mattered was how good He was. And He was good enough to give His body as a sacrifice for the sins of people like me, to wash me as white as snow. It is amazing. It is amazing grace. And I finally believe it! And I live in victory now!
     "We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are", Romans 3:22.
     "For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God's wonderful grace and His gift of righteousness for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ", Romans 5:17.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Everyone Needs A Friend

    God is continuing to teach me spiritual truths through the interactions of the animals on our sheep farm. I love it!
    We turned our ram out to the pasture with our ewes in October and November. We are looking forward to birthing lambs in March and April. When we put our ram, Wildcard, back in his pen, he was super agitated. He paced up and down the fence line, up and down, up and down, until he had worn down all the grass in the path of his trail.
    We have four pygmy goats now, just for fun. So we decided to put the little male, Billy,  into the pen with Wildcard, to see what would happen.
    You would not believe the changes in Wildcard. He settled down and no longer paces. He plays with little Billy all day. They chase around the pen and practice head-butting. They are never far apart. Little Billy climbs in the food box while Wildcard is eating and sometimes climbs on his back. It's a match made in heaven.
    You know, it's true, everyone needs a friend. I have 3 long time friends who know everything about me. We pray for each other and make a point to get together once a month.
    But as special as these friends are, they are not the kind of friend Jesus is. Jesus is my constant helper.  Jesus is the friend who will "never leave me or abandon me", Hebrews 3:5. Jesus is the friend who has "laid down His life for me", John 15:3. It's true, everyone needs a friend. I'm glad that my best friend is Jesus.
"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble", Ecclesiastes 4:9.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


    In the part of the country where I live, we have had record-setting frigid artic temperatures and snowfall amounts. I'm not made to do well in cold, dreary weather. It flattens my mood and strangles my joy.
    But this week, this week, we have had glorious, bright sunshine and temperatures in the 50s and 60s. I love it when God sends these kinds of days in the midst of winter. My faith is strengthened. It notifies me that spring is going to come and because of that, I can endure the winter cold.
    It is so like God. He shows up just in time. When we are up to our necks in the pain of the world, He comes and brings His remedy. Always. When calamity comes and knocks us off our feet, His light shows up and rights our world. Always. And we can count on the fact that springtime follows the  winter season. Always has and always will.

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven", Ecclesiastes 3:1.

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you the way out so that you can endure", 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014


    Last year my word was NEW. It was a fitting word as my husband and I moved to a little sheep farm for our retirement years. We have had a lot of new experiences there. We have been blessed with newness.
    So this year the word God has given me is RENEW. It also seems fitting, according to the verses I looked up:  "He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, " Psalm 23:3;  Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me," Psalm 51:10.; "Instead let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes," Ephesians 4:23; Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him." Colossians 3:10".
    Now I'm thinking about how to frame that in my everyday life:
*It requires spending time reading my Bible each morning.
*It means surrendering my life to God each day.
*It gives me the strength to say "No!" to greed and worldliness.
*It settles me in a place of peace and contentment.
    I loved a phrase in Emily Freman's blog, "Chatting at the sky", becvause I feel it describes where I'm at in my life this year: "I think I'm made to live small, to move slowly, and to hold just one thing at a time". I'm praying for this kind of a renewal for all of us this year.
    Happy New Year and have a renewed kind of year, 2014. Peggy