Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Fear Of The Big Ones
I have been so afraid-of people, of not belonging, of life, of taking risks, of calamities happening to people I love. I've been afraid merely of being noticed or being talked about or being paid attention to. My fears have been big, irrational, paralyzing, consuming. I know. It's crazy. And it's an awful way to live.
Mostly my fears have been unfounded. When I went through a 12-step program in Alanon, my sponsor asked me to make a list of all the things I could remember in my life that I was afraid would happen, then to look over the list and see how many had actually happened. Only a very small fraction had ever happened.
I know it's not healthy to be so fearful, and it's related to my trust issues. If I really believed God loved me and wanted only the best for me and He wasn't out to punish me because I was bad, then I would not be so fearful.
In fact, my life experiences have proven that God is loving and that He wants the best for me and that He is worthy of my trust. Even the bad things that have happened, He has turned around for good. And that is what I need to remember and think upon and not let the fearful thoughts grab hold of me.
Because of God, I have no reason to fear. "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior",
Isaiah 43:1-3 NLT